


Candid Camera (This is a Joke, Right?)

by mitchello



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Brothers, Dick Grayson is a girl, Gen, Interviews, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitchello/pseuds/mitchello
Summary: Tim, Jason, and Damian end up on live TV for one of Gotham's gossip shows. Things go pretty well until the interviewer implies Jason is the oldest child.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 29
Kudos: 341





	Candid Camera (This is a Joke, Right?)

Jason, Tim, and Damian sat comfortably on stage across from a woman in professional dress. They were guests for some obscure Gotham gossip show. They’d never all been on together. Jason was legally resurrected. Damian was finally public knowledge. Of course, they’d all had interviews before where it was just them or them and Bruce. Doing one with the three of them? That was new.

Tim felt good about it so far. Usually, Tim got annoyed with interviews before they even started recording, but the entire crew was genuinely kind and the interviewer was definitely a step up from Vicki Vale. She’d greeted them when they’d arrived and introduced herself. She’d mentioned how excited she was to learn about the real lives of Bruce Wayne’s kids.

The questions were going well. They were deep enough to be interesting but superficial enough to not be invasive. Each boy got to speak on different subjects that actually mattered to them. Jason was asked a question about his favorite book which gave him the opportunity to share his love for literature and also his feelings on the educational opportunities children from low socioeconomic areas receive. Damian talked about his pets and briefly mentioned campaigns he’d started on animal rights. Tim touched on learning business from Bruce and the endeavors of Wayne Enterprises. This interview was the smoothest Tim had ever done. The questions that followed were a bit deeper but still polite.

It wasn’t until Tim and Jason started to tease Damian that the interview started to go down hill.

“I see it hasn’t taken long for you two to start ganging up on the youngest. Jason, how long did it take for you to embrace your role of being the eldest sibling?”

Tim blinked. Jason stared blankly at the interviewer and Damian’s eyebrows knitted together. Tim didn’t even think before he spoke. “Jason isn’t the oldest.”

All three boys looked lost under the lights. The interviewer was openly surprised at this information. “I apologize.” The woman paused, trying to gather her thoughts. “It was my understanding that Jason was Bruce Wayne’s first child. My mistake.”

This was the other thing Tim appreciated about the interviewer: she hadn’t ever mentioned Jason and Tim’s adoptions or implied that they weren’t actually Bruce’s. She was good at reading people and steering conversation if it got too tense.

She looked down at her note cards in front of her. It was the first time she’d referred to them the whole night. Before she could ask a different question Damian directed one at her, “Why would you think Jason is the oldest?”

She looked back just as lost as the boys had been.

“This is hilarious.” Jason fished his phone out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” Tim hissed at Jason.

“I’m calling Dick.” He set the phone on speaker.

She picked up on the third ring. “Hey, Jay, what’s up?”

Jason smirked over at Tim. “Dickie, are you still my big sister?” His voice sounded sad and confused but his face was all smiles.

“Of course. Nothing can change that,” came Dick’s immediate reply. There was a short beat. “Did something happen?”

Tim knew Dick was probably going through terrible situations in her head. Jason winked at the audience in the studio. “I killed a man and I needed to know if I still have an older sibling to help me hide the evidence.”

The audience laughed.

There was silence from Dick’s side of the phone.

“Just kidding,” Jason quickly amended, “I’m actually at an interview right now with Tim and Damian and I was just asked the funniest question.” Jason was full on smiling.

“Jason. Are you calling me in the middle of a live interview?”

“How would you know that? Aren’t you at work?”

“Amy just yelled from the break room and told me I was on TV. I can’t believe you’re calling me in the middle of an interview. Actually, I can, but you shouldn’t be calling, Jay, it’s rude.”

“Can I tell you this funny question or not?”

“Quick.”

“I was just asked about being the oldest sibling. Somebody actually forgot you existed.”

“Jason, you are the oldest.”

Tim and Jason laughed while Damian let out a half snort. 

“Sure, so I guess you won’t be pulling the eldest card next time we’re trying to choose a movie.”

“I cannot believe you’re still mad about that.”

“Sharknado is a terrible movie!”

“It is a cinematic masterpiece.”

“Get back to work, Dickhead.” He hung up the call.

The interviewer looked stunned a moment but she quickly schooled her features back into a smile. “Can I safely assume that was Dick Grayson on the phone?”

“Of course,” Tim said, “Even though she’s moved out of Gotham, we make sure to see her as often as we can.”

“I see.” The interview went smoothly from there. She asked a few more family questions. Who they fought with the most, if they’ve pulled pranks on each other, have they been able to rope Bruce into them; things like that.

Tim mostly paid attention but his mind was stuck on something else. Dick’s voice when she’d said Jason was the eldest sibling. How Dick had made it clear on several occasions Bruce was not her dad. He tried to think of one time he’d ever heard Bruce call Dick his daughter. He couldn’t. He started picking his brain for the articles published that concerned the two of them. Dick was addressed as Bruce’s ward in all of them until she’d all but disappeared from Gotham at fifteen when the world thought she was spending most of her time at boarding school but really she was off saving the world with the Titans. Titles shifted from Bruce Wayne’s Ward to Heartbreaker Dick Grayson and Bruce wasn’t mentioned in them at all. Gotham had gone from obsessing with Dick because of Bruce to obsessing with Dick because of how she looked. Then, Dick didn’t even need Bruce’s name attached to hers because she’d made a name for herself by doing a few modeling shoots. By the time Dick was eighteen, not a single article mentioned Bruce. It was like they were scared of typing Bruce’s name alongside Dick’s as though it would chase away Gotham’s favorite sex icon for good. Which wasn’t a way Tim liked to think about his sister but he knew it was how Gotham thought of her.

There was only one reason papers would go through so much trouble to distance the affiliation between Bruce and Dick.

Tim grabbed Jason’s shoulder at his realization. He hadn’t meant to. Jason was midway through answering a question.

“You okay there, Timbo?”

“Fine,” Tim lied.

The interviewer, bless her, took it as a cue to wrap up.

They exited off the stage after the cameras cut. They were the last guests of the night. Jason eyed Tim with worry as soon as they made it into the wings.

The interviewer approached them as soon as she finished a conversation with one of the crew members. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“Not your fault. Dick hasn’t lived in Gotham for ages. I guess newbies wouldn’t have any reason to know about her,” Jason replied, far more polite than Tim expected, though completely unlikely. Anyone who’d ever stepped foot in Gotham had at least seen a picture of Dick Grayson. Then again, Jason always respected workers who were just trying to do their job and probably wanted to make sure she didn’t feel bad.

Tim’s stupid mouth decided to act up. “No, idiot, she’s apologizing because Bruce Wayne’s kids were just told that their older sister isn’t their older sister on live TV.”

“What do you mean?” Damian asked sharply.

Tim watched as it clicked in Jason’s head. Damian didn’t get it.

“She was never adopted.”

**Author's Note:**

> This might end up getting a part 2. This part has been written since May, I just haven't had time to add to it.   
> Honestly, I haven't had time to add to anything. I haven't actually written since June, everything I've been posting was all pre-written before then. I'm really hoping my schedule clears up soon because I haven't been able to update my other works in ages. I just started my last year of college, so maybe I'll get some stuff written in between classes.


End file.
